long ass dragon

i've drank at least a million beer

guys guys guys. i skipped last friday cos i think i drank too many beers. the sentence above is all i could construct last friday.

i've actually watched a lot of movies since last friday. 

7 years in tibet 8.5/10

godfather  8.5/10

godfather 2 7/10

manchester by the sea 8.5/10

boylen sisters

and something else. the boylen sister was like a 4/ 10. the one i cant remember speaks for itself. it's been a good week for movies, i watch them before i sleep.

i prefer my drinking to be clean. Don't smoke cigarettes when you're drinking. it's bad taste. smoke a couple cigarettes at 12pm when you have your first coffee. don't eat until 12 either. unless you're babbelas. it's bad taste. When you eat at 12, or after , follow the meal with a coffee(cappuccino or iced black(personally)) and a couple cigarettes. you won't regret it. i wouldn't call it the first meal of the day either. unless you consider the food the main, the coffee the beverage and the cigarettes the dessert. it's all still personal. And i'll smoke when i'm drinking. We're talking about ideals here guys.

Having a Guinness, Friday 18:39. Have a guinness by yourself. at the bar, by the bar, by yourself at the bar. Don't underestimate the power of one pint. 

i've got a list a list of things i miss for you guys.

brandy

fast cars

long hair

sunglasses

braai with my fasher

pints with my boys

piss up with my boys

piss up with my dad

lake como with my dad

lake como with my mom

stodels with my mom

red wine with my grandpa

a million smiles cover your heart. now, what the fuck does that mean? i don't know. sounds cool. what's cool is that so many things are open to interpretation. what means something to you, means nothing to me. vice versa. I appreciate good music. a good guitar solo. but at the end of the day the most important thing to me is what the idiot is saying. i envy people who listen to music just for the sound. i suppose it's the same people who fall asleep in 5 seconds. how do you have five thoughts and pass out. hopefully i can do that one day.

i thought about this on the bus this morning. 

No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind

Buy the ticket, take the ride... 

and if it occasionally gets a little heavier than what you had in mind,

well... maybe chalk it off to forced conscious expansion:

Tune in, freak out, get beaten.                                    -H.S.T

things get overwhelming. forced conscious expansion - i'll leave that for you guys to figure out.

I've always considered writing the most hateful kind of work. I suspect it's a bit like fucking, which is only fun for amateurs. Old whores don't do much giggling.-HST

don't apologise. be defenceless. think about things. not too much. you'll turn yourself stupid. sing. drink. sing loud. call your friends. answer your friends calls. stop texting. start writing. start reading. sing again. listen to as much music as you possibly can. listen to tiny desk, post malone. post a blog. post malone a blog. who gives a shit. things get weird, if you allow them to. if things get awkward, it's your fault. be honest. be yourself. fart loud. cum hard. thank you. -J.V.W

love love love

Checking In

     

                    

                        we have a big brain region linked to negativity bias. we are built to remember the negative. think of reasons to say yes

on a disciplinary level, disciplinary used for a lack of a better word. something along the lines of work ethic, mental strength if you will. eating is easy, not eating is hard. but it's stupid. humans need to do some stupid things to have a sense of accomplishment. like cold showers. stupid, but do what you need to do. for the time being though, don't take a cold shower.         take a warm one.

none of this is related, and i don't have any news to share for you guys, i'm writing for the sake of writing.

if you have a good idea, write it down. or , obviously, you may want to blow your brains out if you forget it. let me know if you agree with David Lynch.

writing things down is quite important i would say. not necessarily ideas, but sometimes you need to sit down and think to yourself, what the fuck is actually going on right now? you're not going to figure it out. nobody has.but it's good to keep track of your idea of what's klapping. 

You guys are reading what's klapping with me, but what's klapping with you? don't tell me. send me a letter. post it to the internet and call it a blog.

Ernest Hemingway said that sometimes a wise man needs to get drunk to spend time with his fools. But i think Anthony Bourdain had better ideas than that.

“Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride.” -AB

i remember the first time i tried to write a book. i was around 12 years old. i don't know what wrote, but it was a big deal in my mind. but i had other interests take over. like trying to smoke cigarettes in the garage. the heist went perfectly, everything had gone to plan. I had acquired the dough, and i made it to the getaway location. my lack of experience caught me in the end. i couldn't light the cigarette correctly. i didn't know i had to kickstart it by inhaling when lighting. master engineering by whoever invented the cigarette. a childlock i suppose. if you had to ask me, i'd say it's work from the germans. only they could get that right.

nothing good happens after 12. a theory proving itself right every time. but from a mathematicians stand point, you need to assume everything is false until proven true. from a physicists stand point, multiple reading need to be taken to improve accuracy. from a fools stand point, i don't know what to tell you. i think it's true. 

how do you acquire a serious passion for something. 

okay guys. this was a product of my fingers taking over. are the words coming from my mind or my fingers, i'll never know. 

wear a shirt this weekend guys. get out of the house. go somewhere nice and sunny. order that R85 beer. talk some kak. be lekker and the lekkerness will follow you.. be babelas, eat an icecream. listen to some dire straits. put that roof down nick. let your hair down dad. see that girl matteo. see that girl jordan. thanks everyone. love love love

I don't need a music machine telling me what a good story is, and matter of fact I've never asked nothing from nobody

Blister Skin

 God gave me style God gave me grace

Guys listen theres an intro song to this blog if you don't mind listening to 30 seconds of it - God gave me style by 50cent. Welcome back Jaime! thanks bro.. 

As i'm writing the intro to this blog i am listening to some of the music i was listening to when i first started this blog crap. It's thursday,  currently, and i'm writing this early because i don't want to miss another blog. I just worked out (googled) how many days it has been since the 3rd of january. 69 fucking days. how lekker is that, my lucky number. 

You are probably thinking "jaimie what is so special about the 3rd of jan?" let me ease that steam train of a brain of yours, it's the date of my first blog entry. you wanna know whats even crazier? It feels like i just wrote my first blog only 69 days ago.

Cut the crap. let's get to business. light your cigarette, *kicks feet up onto table* next week we got to get shit organised.         So? what's klapping, tjom? not much. since the last blog i have just had classes everyday, nothing special yet. maybe the occasional assignment. so far everyday is kinda the same, go to class, get home , do a little homework, eat something then get into bed. the bed is really where the magic happens. i have genius ideas during the 2 hours it takes me to fall asleep. 

A couple things to mention. My lovely parents come last week for a week to visit us for the week. I miss them a lot, so it was fanastic seeing them. had a good couple pints with the young old man and and my mother and i got a random person to inject  ink into our skins. why? well , the person told that the ink will never go away so we are just calling their bluff. shout out to my parents they have been there since day one. love you guys

Besides that, i have just been calling an italian guy everyday. he said hes going to visit me this weekend and stay for st patricks day which is great. what a good guy hey.

movies movies movies... hmmm. ah yes, Allied featuring Brad Pitt and some other people. great movie. he enjoys a couple brandys in that movie. i will admit it almost made me tear up. thats it since the last blog to be honest. i haven't been watching movies.

MUSIC. i know you guys are excited for this one. thanks for all the comments on the last blog saying you listen to the music i recommend. you guys should check out the comment section of the last blog to see everyone else who listens. I know you appreciate the fact that sharing my musics is my favourite part about writing this. the music coming through my ears as i am typing is Forget About by Sibylle Baier. Dis baier fokken sad i'll tell you that much. don't listen to it. listen to this:

Baby Baby - sports (groove crap)

ALRIGHT - Ashes to Amber(something)

Daisy Lady - Tir na nOg(spring time romance wind in your hair wine in your throat)

She's A Lady - Tom jones(on a mission with matteo- we're in shirts with beautiful european woman on a mission(watch out))

Her Eyes Dart Round - The Felice Brothers (matteo and i just woke up and thhe european woman wake up in disbelief)

I Was Made for Lovin' You -KISS (matteo and i are going out again(watch out))

Chelsea Dagger- The Fratellis(matteo and i have done it again)

Otherwise, i have a beautiful woman in my life at the moment. i won't say her name but it starts with a J and ends in essica. we have had our hiccups but i am faithful in our relationship and i believe we will be able to rebuild. we will reconstruct piece by piece and we will be stronger than ever.

That's pretty much it. I am going to stop writing for today. i may write some more tomorrow(friday, when i mean to post this) but if i don't, o well. ill find poem to leave you with quickly. it has been like 10 minutes and i still haven found something sick, this is getting ballistic. i almost tried to make my own. home alone home grown i cant get off my phone. maybe ill drink some wine but ill wine when i wake up and open the blind. not because i drank but because my bed sank and now i feel like hank. hank williams said theres a tear in his beer he's crying for you dear. 

Hope you enjoyed me playing with the english language.

It is friday and i have something to leave you guys with.

i'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

why don't you just shut up and enjoy the cigarette ?

thanks guys. i had fun writing this one. i love you all. love love love 

Now I am better, I implore you to say it isn't right
But somewhere deep in history
Your father pulled your teeth out of your fight

we're only passing through

 

Lucky Enough

 

                            Lucky Enough

The What's Klapping number three. Can you believe it. I've kept up the inconsistency trend. call it consistently inconsistent. reason being? For why? You'll never know. Don't forget who's running this show. and on the note of who's running this show, theres only ever been two MF's as bad as me. and I'm both of them.

Before i write exams i listen to rap songs that get me hyped up. I've been called a mathematical gangster. I'm an academic weapon of mass destruction, sometimes theres recoil and splash damage but believe you me, i know how to handle it.

Following my last entry, i've been proven wrong and i stand corrected. you can indeed trust an italian. however, there a specific requirements. the italian needs to be from the tropical coasts of Blouberg (𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘢𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘢 𝘥𝘪 𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘶) based very south of Italy. This italian also needs to have a vocabulary containing various Afrikaans swear-words and needs to wield the ability to drink copious amounts of South African Brandewyn. Without these attributes, you'll find your typical italian who showers twice a month and wears their nose like an eagle.     # Eagles are actually very interesting and i'd recommend watching some documentaries on them

What's Klapping now? Well i finished writing exams and i have a couple days off until the start of the next semester. I've been chilling. Enjoying a few alcoholic beverages and conversations with strangers. Makes me thing about "Don't go to strangers" JJ Cale. In terms of musics; "I Don't Belong" and "Jackie Down the Line" by Fontaines D.C. have been on repeat for me. How many of you actually listen to the music i mention? let me know. "July" by Wunderhorse has also been on repeat. I'm looking at going to watch them in Spain in July when i'm done writing finals.

I watched "Blue Romance" and "Green Book" in the past two weeks. Blue Romance is a load of shit. Green Book was great though. 10/10 recommend. It was unsuspecting, Otherwise i haven't read any books after i got scammed with the last one. I can't remember if i told you guys on the last blog but basically going for golds second chapter was titled "Malta, the pearl of the Mediterranean", which explains why it was for sale in this random small shop. Maybe ill pick up another book this weekend. you'll have to wait and see.

On the life side of things, it's all pretty chilled. Weirdly enough i'm excited for this 2nd semester. I'm appreciating the work a bit more and i'm living a chilled lifestyle.  I'm trying to appreciate everything a little bit more. This isn't spiritual thing or any crap like that. It could be a lack of female distractions. And thats not a choice or any crap like that. It's a result of just letting things happen i guess. Just going with the flow. The motion of the ocean. Motion is lotion. Bad days are also part of a very good and sexy life. 

Love

Capitan Balas

i've picked this out for you 

"

I'll grow to know the road to home in places far away
Wrinkled, bald, and beat to shit, to never waste a day
Enough people will hate me that I know I did it right
But to never meet a human being that I say that I don't like
Let me learn the hard way and cut it close sometimes
That youth is the attic chest where every lesson lies
I'll have some kids and teach them that we are all the same
Sufferin', smilin', silhouettes of every passin' day

The love I have will always be something my friends yearn
My memories were never cheap and never easy earned
I hope to choke on jack and coke in a bar during a northern winter
On a night the band was tight and right as rooftop lights flicker
If I'm lucky enough, I'll understand losing someone close
I'll clench my teeth on New Year's Eve and try to talk to ghosts
I'll stumble through a market on a Sunday day in June
Smell the salt and asphalt on a Sunday afternoon

I reckon I'd be lucky if I made it half as far
To only die on hills that are closest to my heart
If I'm lucky enough, notebooks will be strewn across my room
Or play catch on green grass with spring time flower bloom

If I'm lucky enough, I'll tell the truth every chance I get
'Cause smiles faked to appease another is worth ten regrets
If I'm lucky enough, I will get through hard things
And they will make me gentle to the ways of the world
If I'm lucky enough, I'll have the courage to leave and go
Wherever my beatin' heart tells me to go

If I'm lucky enough, I'll get high and invite a guitar player over
And he'll play sweet notes until a New York City rooftop sun rises
I'll meet some kids in school that still know how to play instruments
If I'm lucky enough, I'll make it exactly to where I'm taking this breath now
Lay my head upon the Earth and laugh at passing clouds
If I'm lucky enough, I'll remember the shaky things we've seen
Grab your beer through tears and fears, the great American bar scene

" - Zach Bryan

Nine Ball

 Nine Ball:

Well well well... a million fridays later and i'm uploading my second weekly blog. Cut me some shlack, i've been studying, pal. Halfway through mid-year exams, it's gone pretty smoothly. Gonna have a week break before the start of the second semester. Unfortunately my friend is not visiting for it. Don't ask me why. Rule #14: Don't trust Italians. 

What's klapping you ask? I'll tell you. Wunderhorse. Listen to them. their past two albums are fabulous. Fabulous. I like that. Otherwise, Fontaines DC - Favourite has been up there. I've also thrown in a little Al Green to lubricate the joints. Motion is lotion. Joints of love. That's all you get.

Watched the new Bob Dylan movie. I entered the movie theatre ready to hate. I left ready to love. Fantastic picture, i think it was a good representation of Bob Dylan. My sister(loser) says she only gave it a 3.2/5 because she thinks it doesn't do a good job at explaining anything about Bob Dylan and his past life. Listen bud, if you don't understand anything about Bob Dylan, you're right where he wants you to be.

That's all i have for you guys this friday. I have to study. Maybe the next issue will be entertaining, you'll have to wait and see. I know i have you on the edge of your seat. 

Remember, bad days are also part of a very good and sexy life.

Capitan balas signing out. 

Going For Gold.

 

Klapping #1

Hello neighbour. 

Welcome to the first entry of The What's Klapping, a weekly blog I'll be publishing every Friday. I'll be writing about what's klapping in the Jaimesphere; this includes all movies, music, books and any sort of interests or addictions I have at the time. I'll publish every Friday, even if the week is stale. Why am I starting a blog? Because I can.

So, whats klapping? It's the first week of 2025. Fuck sakes... Anyways, today I got a book called Going For Gold by Douglas Greenfield. Completely random choice. The deciding factor was that it says "Read this book" in the blurb. It seems to be an autobiography about a man who journeys through life while discovering wells in the desert (it says so on the front page). Haven't read any of it, but you'll get an update next week.

Moving on; I wanted to say the last movie I watched was Babylon (newish Brad Pitt movie) but I'd be lying. I just remembered a rewatched Zoolander the other night. Classic, needs no review. So I'll just talk about Babylon: Cool setting, cool idea. It's about film making in the early 1900's. I don't know how to categorize it, but I do know it was weird. It ends badly, which always annoys me. I feel like there should be more movies that just end in a cool way, like why must the movie leave me in a bad mood? Final rating: 6/10. I'm pretty close to have being watched all of Brad Pitt's movies, when I get there i'll create a list of best to worst. Next Brad Pitt movie on my list is 'The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford'.

In terms of music, I've been listen to Bruce Springsteens 'Nebraska' a lot. Emotional album, but a fantastic amount of harmonica. 8.7/10 album for me. "Walkin' Back to Georgia" by Jim Croce has been my top song this week. Runner up has to be "In Spite of Ourselves" by John Prine and Iris DeMent. Beautiful romance song that'll bring a tear to your eye. Honourable mentions: "Broken Window Serenade" - Whiskey Myers and "Teal" - Wunderhorse-Cub. I've been listening to Johnny Clegg and Paul Simons 'Graceland' while running, gives me some sort of African power.

To wrap up the first blog post I'd like to say I'm not exactly sure where I'm heading with this whole thing. Maybe to share things I'm finding cool and maybe some personal things time to time. Maybe stories if i feel like it. I'd like to read more about how other people are feeling and what they've been into since i haven't been home and interactions have been limited. Maybe i can get some more people to start blogging. Who knows. 

Ciao guys